WANTED: On suspicion of having a vagina

stepfordpirate

Legitimate rape. Legitimate. Rape.

Never in my life did I think I’d ever see someone use those two words in conjunction with one another. Let’s break down that phrase, shall we?

le·git·i·mate: adj.

1 a: lawfully begotten; specifically: born in wedlock
b: having full filial rights and obligations by birth <a legitimate child>
2: being exactly as purposed : neither spurious nor false <a legitimate grievance> <a legitimate practitioner>
3 a: accordant with law or with established legal forms and requirements <a legitimate government>
b: ruling by or based on the strict principle of hereditary right <a legitimate king>
4: conforming to recognized principles or accepted rules and standards <a legitimate advertising expenditure> <a legitimate inference>

5: relating to plays acted by professional actors but not including revues, burlesque, or some forms of musical comedy <the legitimate theater>

Then there’s rape, which…

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